On belonging.

My heart physically aches.

I’m angry, i’m sad, and i’m lost. I’ve convinced my brain that i am in so much emotional distress that it has told my heart to start hurting. I feel it tightening into a crumpled pile of nothing. I ache for better things and better places. Everywhere i go i feel i don’t belong and somewhere out there is a place that will feel like home.

This city is beautiful, without a doubt, but sometimes i hate it. I hate it for all the memories and feelings it comes attached with — those are the feelings which make my heart ache so fucking much i want to rip it out of my chest and let it be over with. Sometimes i really want it to be over with, but i don’t tell anyone.

I want to belong again.

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